because if I wouldn't have been reading Heather's blog, then I would not have been directed to
Ashley's blog and I would not have seen this:A "Dear John" letter to my fat ass...
Dear Fat Ass,
It is time that I end our relationship. I don't like you anymore. Actually, I hate you. It is you... Not me. Call me shallow, but I just can't stand the sight of you any longer. You are unattractive. You make my clothes feel tight, and that is just plain rude. You make me cringe whenever I catch a glimpse of you. Since I know that you plan to hang around for as long as you can, seeing as though you are a total stalker, I have decided to call in some reinforcements. I'd like to introduce you to my friends Diet and Exercise. *Fat Ass, Diet. Diet, Fat Ass.* *Fat Ass, Exercise. Exercise, Fat Ass.*
As you can see you have some tough competition. Diet and Exercise will whomp your ass, Fat Ass. I am determined to make you go away. I plan to kick you to the curb like a loser boyfriend. See ya. Buh bye! Sayonara. Au revoir. Adios. Don't let the door hit you in the ass. Oh wait... You are an ass...
...and No. We CAN'T be friends.
PS - Tell your friends Saddle Bags and Muffin Top that I don't want them coming around here anymore either. I never liked them anyway.
I definately know my name could be inserted at the bottom.. as I sit at the computer eating chocolate chip pancakes for dinner*.
*husband has class tonight, baby had smooshed carrots and pears/ brig is eating the last of the corndog, snap peas , and pinapple from earlier this week. and yes, I got the pancakes from yesterday's breakfast ...I am thinking a trip to the grocery is needed =P