Wednesday, August 13, 2008

my inbox

just thought I'd share what kind of emails I have been getting.( I am kinda getting a complex that I am uber popular)

1. jane manning wants to know if I am looking for a fling? always, but after having two kids,I am doubtful.

2. Real Visa wants to give me one.. RIGHT away! don't they know the fake visa gave me cards years ago, I still haven't paid off.. (kidding. we are debt free and don't have a single evil piece of plastic)

3. "dating' wants to share people looking for me. I am intrigued. didn't know I was lost.

4. Panda research will pay me for my opinion! I don't know squat about pandas. if they're willing to pay for my thoughts.. bring it on.

5. free credit report/ I'd love to see how much credit I have(according to VISA?)

6. YEAH!! I just have to respond to claim my free Rachel Ray chef package. they are willing to send me something of hers, even though I am pretty open about how much I can't stand her...well maybe they're trying to win me over.

7. I have been given the chance multiple times to meet black singles in my area. We only have about 6, and I have already met I think this is a scam.

8. Sylvester Lay, and Bertha Joiner both want to give me FREE cialis. I am willing to a stay at home mom, I am willing to take drugs.. especially if they're free. though how much sanity cialis will give me , I am not sure.

9. Jamie Johnson is passing out a free rolex. So nice of him, but I am not into gold bling..

10. Michael Draper, Colby McAlister, and Archie Gomes, all are providing me with drugs online.
these guys must have stay at home wives.. and know the desperate need for women that can't get out of the house.

11.Tatum's new blackberry is ready to be shipped ! no fair.. she gets one and I don't!!

12. Viola Butcher is sending me Viagra. I wonder if there is a coincidence to the name and the drug. anyway, we're not in need(yet.) in our household.

13. Jackie and Rebecca are sweet enough to send me smileys for my email. AWE.

14. My confirmation number that my Victoria Secret order has been shipped! Damn. My husband will not be happy that his suprise gift to me was spoiled.

15.Kaplan University is ready for ME to enroll . they must be desperate for students,if they're begging me.

16. Old witchcraft secrets? oh, yes, I am a little interested... ask me again around Oct. 31st

17. The government is holding my money.. respond to claim ! while I know this is true.. the chances of them actually turning it over to me, is slim.

18. Alert : for truck loan.. my money is available. This is so cool. perhaps because of all the drugs I have been, on, I didn't realize I had applied for a loan. wonder if the truck comes with the gun rack already installed?

19. Paul the internet guy says 'HI". well hello to you paul, the internet guy.

20. Claim my $1000 Wal Mart gift card now! I am a tad giddy, just thinking of all the diapers I can buy... and all the truck details(mudflaps) I can get

21. I am wanted: all women ages 25-34 willing to.... um, be transported to a tropical island, with people(extremely hot island boy) waiting on me hand and foot, with ney a nose or hiney to be wiped. I AM IN.

22. rebate processor position available if this is like running a food processor.. sign me up!

23. Eat food and lose weight and feel good. I already can do the first and the last with no problem. its the one in the middle giving me issues. this one is peeking my interest

24. Incorporate in Nevada... learn how to be incorporated in Nevada. good thing, because I have always wanted to own a business in Nevada.

25. Christian Dating can find me the ONE. the ONE. or the ONLY one. and is it really dating at that point?

26. pedi paws will give me an incredible pet nail trimmer.. absolutely free! wonder if these will work on kids?

27. Advanced Bright will get my teeth SEVEN shades whiter. this is going to be fabulous for when I meet all these singles in my area , first impressions mean everything

28. an offer to help find cheap car insurance this will be fabulous for my new truck.. eh?

29. and another to help find affordable health care, although with all the money that the government is sending me, I hardly think I'll have a problem with paying for healthcare.

30. Amazon and Google, repeatedly are trying to convince me to work with them. I am pretty good at buying things and sending emails.this could work out.

31. My new friend is waiting to meet me! oh, I wonder if he/she will like my white teeth =)

32. I am inivited to start a career in criminal Justice, as a stay home mom, I am often, thinking about entering the work world again... if its really as glamorous as it looks in Miami, then CSI, here I come!
33. John Cummata is sharing all his secrets with me.. how to pay my house off in 5-7 years!
is this a trailer- kinda- looking house?

34. Financial aid is available for Tatum. well, perhaps this aid can be used at Kaplan U? but knowning John's secrets , I am pretty sure I won't need financial assistance , when it comes time for my kids in college.

35.captiva is sending me my free stretch mark samples. just an fyi.. out of desperation, have already succomed to this one. they're sending a truckload of samples.

Because if some random glitches in my yahoo acct, I have to periodically take the spam filter off. UGH. its like they are waiting in the trenches... and I get slammed with about 60-100 of these a day.
my husband has been trying to get me to switch to gmail for months. He claims that anyone. who is anyone. has gmail.
well, I like to be unique(yeah, I know yahoo is not unique.).. lol and I have had this same email addy since college!! I am so resisting change!!
whats your opionion on email servers?


Samuel said...

Hope you are recovered after your trip - I'm looking for the pics -

Hilarious email! I have the same thoughts about my junk email address. I keep one email that I use just for friends and important stuff and the other one I use for anything I do online or when I sign up to win something free! That way I hardly get junk on the one and the other I can filter through when I'm looking for my online purchase recipt or something.

Stephanie said...

Yahoo AND Hotmail SUCK!! Andrew is right, gmail IS that great! I used to have hotmail and gmail is so much better. I think yahoo is pretty similar. Okay, sorry for the random blabbering. Hope you're doing great!

Andrew said...

You're such a dork! Thanks for defending me on the Viagra, but who's the Cialis for?

Janette said...

Oh dear Elizabeth that's not fun. You can stay with yahoo but change your addy. That should help for a long while.

We had it with our regular email and changed servers and got a new addy and now all the spam is gone. BUT I do not put that email address on anything but family and friends.

Another idea keep your old addy for newsletters and stuff like that and set up a new one for emails from your family and friends.

Shannon said...

Okay this was seriously funny!!


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