Thursday, August 05, 2010

it's laundry day!

ok, well I didn't do such a great job this first week of August.. ahem.. on my new blogging schedule. (but did you really think I would? lol)... ugh.

Three photo sessions and it is only Thursday. =).. trips to the park. hours at the pool. a fabulous day up at Lake Michigan.

ANYWAY.....I came up with my little list of topics to keep me on track and focused.. I'm just gonna pick up with today, and hubby actually came up with the title for this one.

(because he said, by the time Thursday comes, there will have been something that happened that needs to be vented. ha.) oh, he knows me too well . AND I don't want to put a damper on Fun on Fridays heading into the weekend.


SOOO. Thursday is going to be laundry day. I.E. Airing the dryer vents. AHEM. sharing something that bugged me, made me cringe, made me stew.. (and not the vegie kind)...made me question.. you get the idea right??

AND in return... YOU ALL are free to LEAVE your dirty duds here. This is a safe place. Well, heck I am always a safe place. I have been told my whole adult life that I am super easy to talk to, to share inter most struggles and secrets with.. yep. What is said to me. stays with me. You have my word.(real life folks already know this.. but in case you wanted to venture into a friendship, well you know trust is KEY with ME)

UNLESS its on this blog.. and this post particularly.. because... I want to hear from you! I want you to be able to leave me a comment with one of your 'vents' from this week, and IF you say I can.. I'll blog about it NEXT THURSDAY in conjunction with mine... We may just be able to help each other along. some examples can be frustrating, irritating, funny, things.. stuff your kids did, your neighbor said, your boss tried, the customer in front of you in line at Wal Mart did.. what ever... things going on in your town, your state , your world.. time to share!!

Here goes mine..... actually been struggling with this for awhile now, but in recent weeks have had some situations where it has surfaced again and I just don't get it. Been talking to Andrew about it a lot lately.
The reality that some how in our society it is acceptable or encouraged to 'not' talk to people that you know. People that you are or have been friends with. People that are acquaintances.
Heck I think I talk to strangers more than strike up a conversation with someone that I know from a different path of life or whatever..
This is so frustrating to me. It just doesn't seem right to me. I am an outgoing, friendly person by nature and have always been surrounded by 'friendly' people as well. My husband always nicknamed me chatty- cathy ( in know, so unoriginal.. lol) because where ever we went I would always be friendly, compliment someone, chat about the weather, the kids..etc. etc.

SO now we have found ourselves in this situation of the last 3 years, where the majority of people that we used to be friends with, have dinner with, have play dates with, attend church and school with.. REFUSE to talk to us. YEP. like we've seen them detour their path in the grocery store so as not to have to come within 'talking' distance of us. We have seen them at baseball games and swimming lessons and yet we don't speak.
It is IN OUR nature to go up and say Hi, to strike up a casual conversation with these folks.. but it has never been received well.
.. and so I am left with this constant battle of what my mind says is the right, the normal, the courteous, the adult thing to do.. - which is to say hello, chat a bit. of course I am not saying that we have to act like BFF's or something, but geesh... just because we don't attend the same church, somehow we different now?
Like it was ok, for us to be guests' in their home, share meals, attend bible studies and girls nights, and guys outings AND have them all into our home... but suddenly we are different now.
HMMMM. (well yes, we are different, and that goes with out saying.. thus the reason we are where we are.. ) . but is being different all that bad?

and the battle continues with what my heart says ... and that is that several people really, really hurt us. badly. deeply. and we extended grace, realized people are all sinners, forgave them.. and wished to carry on. I have been told by a very close and Godly friend that I have a lot of strength and courage to carry on. I feel that is what I am called to do. I am not someone who holds grudges by any means. I accept people and so often give people the benefit of the doubt.
Second chances, and third chances.
Again, I am not saying that I am going out trying to build the deep relationships.. but seriously? How do you not even talk to people that you 'supposedly' were friends with at one time.
Boggles my mind.. and so then I am left in the situation, that I am tired of being made a fool. I don't want to move forward with good intentions, using my friendly ways to reach out, only to be laughed at behind my back.
As in.. " do you know who I saw today and she tried to talk to me!! " how dare someone actually be courteous. GASP.

The other biggest pet peeve I have is fakeness. Maybe that is the standpoint these folks are coming from. Perhaps they don't like it either. The problem is that I don't have one 'fake' bone in my body. I am so real. Like raw - real. I am not about a hidden agenda or playing games. I can see this going on sometimes and it just makes me sick. So much negative energy is being spent to what? be miserable? um, yeah.. no thanks!
I need all the energy I can to maintain my house and my family!! lol

Please don't take away that this is just a poor me saga ... because I am SO not about that. I don't like drama and I don't like attention directed at myself. However, just been mulling this idea around lately, that perhaps this is just what culturally we are taught to do. I know that I am not perfect and because of seeing this reaction dozens of times in the last couple years... I too have started to adapt to that way of thinking. I don't like it. It feels strange and awkward to me.

I have pretty much adapted the mindset that if they want to talk , then I'll let them come to me. I am tired of initiating and then being left feeling like a fool-. but then again, I don't think this is the right attitude to take? I bring this up, because I know that there are some of you out there that have experienced this same type of thing. I know one friend in particular saw similar results within a church body. Others have seen it in the work place or even in school settings.

ok.. so that was much longer than I thought.. - feel free to share , I'd love to hear your thoughts, comments, suggestions.. whatever. Spill it !!


1 comment:

Hannah said...

So I'm working 2 jobs in the month of august...selling sandwiches at the state fair, and my usual 8-hours-a-week at the nursing home doing activities. I went on vacation a couple of weeks ago, and my boss went the week after me, so I haven't actually seen her in several weeks, but I e-mailed her my fair and school schedules before I even left for vacation. Then today I got an e-mail from her with the schedule for the next month....and she wants me to be there several different times that I clearly told her I was not free. I love her to death but this is just ridiculous!

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